UK – Glaswegian 1

It’s, ehm, it’s about three in the morning.

I woke up during the night, there.

Don’t know why I woke up but I thought, right, I’ll get up and get a wee drink of water,

I’ll go downstairs to the kitchen and get myself a wee drink of water.

Ehm, I came down here into the hall,

and I could see why it was that I woke up.

There’s a guy in my house.

I don’t think he’s a burglar.

I think he’s just… He’s just came in.

He’s just came into the house.

I sometimes leave my kitchen window open during the night just to freshen the place up a wee bit,

and I think he maybe got in that way, and, ehm,

you know, he’s not quite sure where he is. He’s no- Oh, he’s coming here.

He’s just a wee bit curious. He’s just having a wee look.

He’s just having a look. He’s in a strange place. This is-

I’m sure he’s as scared as I am.

That’s him away.

That’s him away. I think he just wanted a wee look.

He’s just curious.

He’s just curious. That’s him away.

That’s him away now.



Look who’s back.


It’s about quarter to four in the morning.

Ehm, I went back to bed, I got woke up again and I came down and, here he was.

Just came back for another wee look didn’t ya? Just came back for another wee loo-

[Rubbing noise]

He’s just- He’s just curious. Here we go.

Guess who’s back.

It’s about half five in the morning now.

I don’t know why he keeps coming back but I think he’s wanting me to reach out.

I’m gonna touch him. I’m gonna try and reach out.

Right, here he comes.

He’s just curious, he’s just- he’s- he’s- he’s as scared as I am.

He’s as scared as I am.

He’s- he’s as scared as I am.

Here we go.

There we go!

That’s all he wanted, just wants a wee touch.

[Startled monster noise]

Right, shut that window! Shut that window! Get that window shut!

UK – Glaswegian 2

you know what I’m used to speak Nalgene

Tina it’s funny you know what I’m used

to speaking Peru it’s Bonnie

you know what lie me to speak Mexico

Spanish it

that’s what lime is the speaking there’s

oh no Portuguese

they speak Portuguese in Brazil Rizzo on

Argentina pretty much too long but if

you put a guy if it is owned and I

remember I gave Argentina one would need

or don’t wanna be store number it

wouldn’t start for you can we talk CVL

go on holiday in Brazil you want it’s

miles away see you aim for a moon and

the way I push the food on your table on

your money see Thanks don’t you see

gracias a Spanish si obrigado Portuguese

Portuguese blue see if you have a

fainter 7-eleven for a small office the

modern nations Brazil serum Brazeau

speak Portuguese I’ve been a boy you

should see no feces

they’re not always smarter than your son

did you know if you go at the bookies

you put a bet on a horse and you end you

know let last opinion this is not native

every sober Hey you’d have to pay you

love to pay a penis a law don’t have to

pay you better did that mean well sure

it’d be our business in a week when they

even if I fell I bet on up a place it

doesn’t pay you a sheep

see if you’re ever on a pop toilet and

you’re using the horn dryer I was like I

read behind your neck you breathing down

your neck

I’m go first and office to see if you

don’t you end up just rushing and you

walk you’re Delvian horns always go

first well I’m not sure then you can get

your enjoy nation trailer the place

there sale I’m Aldo user horn turns my

cell I just used a paperback so avoid

all day he was Russian and I mentioned

to her me like Tamela I was actually be

smartass not always small arson here so

oh yeah that amazed me yeah well I’m is

sharing this beam bezel

UK – Glaswegian 3

when you there are life set of techno or

your D gene and a club or a venue you’re

not just there it’ll not press play and

walk away you’re there to take them on a

journey your you better gave them your

in charger when they dance when they’re

doing when they cello a bit or when they

get all excited for that beg drop

there’s a few techniques of holiday that

a common one as the high pass for which

sounds like this the crowd go wild for

that but what I recommend is you keep it

going for a wee bit longer just to set

yourself apart for everybody else like

this and do that did up with them no no

no I showed you you start to see the

kögel down there for really whales that

I don’t just don’t laughing stop

laughing cousin or yes I am getting

pissed off you see it so long she needs

water we stole your girl in Estonian

Sonya grunts remember your charge

remember they’ve paid to see you

Bigfoot’s ecstasy use your no-good

seconds to see them Dueling champ oh you

you’ll start getting people

booing boo them raised by pests after

real if I start makeup I’m in charge

just alternate stone your garden spawn

your green remember use the sage one of

these ensemble your name use Sonya

but remember the most important thing is

to have fun if you’re having fun they

all have fun

senior having fun


UK – Glaswegian 5

oh hey

all right

you lost


Namie Cheers sousou-dono you’re in here

I’m all just passing through


your bag up put bang


ha I said ah top

huh I only messing much she can be off

for stuff and for know this opinion oh

yeah are you really mess Anna no gonna

sit out what create a life

he’s a

[ __ ] laptop

don’t me k

now yummy he’s

a laptop

tell you what how about you

something elf are we wouldn’t a laptop

Oh what nothing

I’m your team hung up that pop now I’ve

got four Nahor and all your help me what

I know you’re home okay what year a

marine will be home today but you’re

then robbing people robbing and my stuff

is important to them known how much that

will hotline but no Karen I think all

the way you can love a nice because

people have hot you but it then they can

so why should you like your men now take

a laptop take your phone and I can also

play some bit talked is tell me how

you’re gonna dismiss you never know may

just help you

all right

we’re loose separate five year go I had

that’s beg for my step that hey can i

scope she got off his brother that’s

what i carrying iron who gets out but

natural born like I’m still flowy Breck

sure second earning my China weekend one

brand you then after our three or four


UK – Glaswegian 7

i’m doing here at the bbc building

bbc scotland building just been thinking


like how my life’s turned just how happy

i’m that

how my life’s turned getting to make

this getting to the audience and

um just how lucky i’m just being ups and

dunes and things like that but

the way evidence turned out i’m just i’m

just so grateful just so lucky

just i’ve had a good life is what i’m

trying to say if

i was to get hit by a bus tomorrow i

would want my son to watch this video

and know that i had i had a good life

had a good life

so just one single just a wee thing it’s

nothing really

i wish i could do this

i wish i could whistle like that loud as

[ __ ]

without using my fingers because that

wasn’t me doing it though i was taking

the sound to me then this

and then putting that sound there me

going like

which is what you’ve got today with your

face your tongue or something when you

did that whistle

i don’t know why i wanted it i don’t

know it’s just like when i was wee

i would see older guys then and it

looked like the sort of thing you could

only dave you’re a man

yeah frank frank

he kind of healed me hold on

i’d love to be able to love to be able

to dinner

but for the good life for the good life

and i can do this you know that’s good

i can stop taxis i’ve stopped taxis then

balwan saw a guy go ah

stopped a bus

and both had a good life good life